Delivery Boy Soujirou!
by I Like Sushi
Summary: Delivery fast food wasn't as easy as it was before. For Soujirou who has lived around fast food all his life knows his skills. But is his skills ready for this new, evil custumer, Misao? You've never seen fast food like this before.
1. The Ultimate DELIVERY Challenge

**Note: **Ok, I got this idea from watching a couple of my favorite dramas. Mainly this story will be based off of Goong S and with some Hana Kimi and some Hana Yori Dango added to the mix and a couple of other asian dramas I like.

_P.S._ XD no i was not on crack when i wrote this... just really bored. XD

_**D**_elivery_** B**_oy _**S**_oujirou

('-' ) ... ( '-')

**C**_h_ _a p t e r _**O** _n e_: **The Ultimate DELIVERY Challenge!**

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

It was a typical sunny day in Kyoto, Japan. At least so far it was pretty typical for delivery boy Soujirou Seta. He had just came back from doing another one of his delivery assignments for his boss, Makoto Shishio, the owner of the Juppon Gatana: Japanese Fast Food Restaurant with Take Out and FREE Delivery!

Now waiting for his next delivery, Soujirou sat on one of the restaurant's dining table as he played with the restaurant's pet dog, Gyoza.

But then...

Without knowing that his whole life was about to change in the next second...

_RING! RING!_

The phone rang...

Yumi, Shishio's wife, rushed to the phone and picked it up.

"Moshi moshi?" Yumi greeted as she would normally have.

It took a second or two but the voice on the other line finally replied...

"Uh yeah? HELLO?! This Misao Makimachi! YES I KNOW! I _AM THE MISAO MAKIMACHI, daughter of the owner of Oniwabanshuu Corps! _HAHAHA! NOW! I'm hungry so you better make this fast! I want three bowls of chicken Yakisoba, four bowls of Ohitashi, two bowls of Shumai, a bowl of Tempura Shrimp Udon...eh actually make that five, 'cause I really like those HAHAHA. OH AND three bowls of Nippon Soba, and for sushi i want Futomaki Veggie, Nigiri, the Sashimi Platter. Does that come with wasabi? EGH, I hate wasabi! NO WASABI WHAT SO EVER, ALRIGHT?! Ok and lastly gimme a huge bucket of your best green ice cream--_"_

_"Uh!" Yumi interrupted the caller Misao and asked, "And you want all of this as soon as possible?"_

_"OF COURSE LADY! _I TOLD YOU I'M HUNGRY SO IF YOU DON'T HAVE ALL OF THIS READY WITHIN...10 MINUTES! YOU LOSE! I ALREADY CALLED THE SHINSENGUMI RESTAURANT WITH THE SAME ORDERS! Consider it a race. Who ever gets here first I will pay! The loser will be punished! Ya hear?! Oniwabanshuu mansion! BE ON TIME!_" _

The phone clicked. Yumi with a horrid face turned to Soujirou.

"Soujirou," she said in a dead serious tone. "Are you ready...son?"

Soujirou stood up immediately, "Yes ma'am! I was born ready!"

"Good!" Yumi quickly looked at chefs, "Usui, Anji, Saizuchi, Fuji, Iwanbo! Get ready!"

"YES YUMII-SAN!" They roared in unison as they held up their spatulas with pride!

Yumi took a huge breathe and began to call out the impossible order that they had been recieved by fate, "Three bowls of chicken Yakisoba, four bowls of Ohitashi, two bowls of Shumai, five bowls of Tempura Shrimp Udon, three bowls of Nippon Soba, Futomaki Veggie, Nigiri, the Sashimi Platter! NO WASABI! I REPEAT! NO WASABI!"

It was too much...for the chefs to handle... Saizuchi fell weak to his knees... "I...!" He cried out loud, "I can't do it!" he cried out tears of pain.

Anji, the gentle one of the shop grabbed Saizuchi, "Be a MAN! We can do it!" Anji looked intently at the big headed Saizuchi with gleaming, proud eyes. "Who are we!?"

Saizuchi stood up, wiping his tears, "THE JUPPON GATANA! HERE TO DEFEND THE JAPANESE PEOPLE AGAINST BAD TAKE OUT AND PROTECT THEIR MOUTHS BY GIVING THEM DELICIOUS JUPPON GATANA FAST FOOD!"

"HURRY UP YOU SHITWITS!" Yumi yelled at them with annoyance, "THEY'VE CALLED THE SHINSENGUMI TOO! WHO EVER GETS THERE FIRST GETS THE DOUGH!"

The chefs instantly went about to make the order. And within 3.141592653589793238462643 (yes the number for pi lol), the order was ready and set to go!

"Soujirou! Chou! Kamatari! Henya!" Yumi gave the boys the five boxes.

"Understood!" Soujirou, the leader, relpied. He quickly placed the boxes on his Juppon Gatana motocycle with a chibi shishio eating soba noodles on it.

"Ready?!" He looked at his gang of three delivery boys.

"Ready!" They replied

Then... he disappeared in the blink of an eye. Chou, Kamatari, and Henya struggling behind...

"Amazing... It's like he's some kind of samurai and can go really fast maybe by using a technique called the Shukuchi," Fuji said. Usui slapped him on the head, "Don't be silly."

Yumi stood, looking out and Soujirou's lost presence. "This is it... Now it's up to Soujirou... to change our FATE!" A tear fell down from Yumi's face. "HOUJI!"

"YES MA'AM!" Houji ran right next to Yumi and took out a hankerchief and wiped her tear away. "Yes Yumi-san. Ever since the damn Shinsengumi opened their restaurant...business have been sour for us," Houji said sadly, "But all of that will change today! Do not worry! Soujirou will not let us down! He's the best delivery boy in Kyoto!"

Yumi pushed Houji out of the way as she went back to her office, "It _better_ be that way." Houji smiled sheepishly and followed behind her.

Yes, he was her bitch afterall.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

_Hmm, so a race against the Shinsengumi. What a odd call but I can do it. _Soujirou smiled as he drove on his motocycle. Chou and the others were finally catching up now as they were driving right behidn him.

He turned up the speed on his motocycle as he turned on Higashiōji street but however, he stopped as he came face to face with his arch nemesis: Okita Soushi and his own gang of Shinsengumi.

"Oh, I see you're delivering to the Oniwabanshuu's too." Soushi of Shinsengumi smiled at Soujirou.

Soujirou looked at Soushi. He was on his own moterbike, with the Shinsengumi label and a chibi Hajime Saitou on it eating sushi. Just as he had thought, Soushi and him were now on the same path to the Oniwabanshuu's. This shall be an interesting race...

"Of course," Soujirou smiled back, "Okita Soushi... We end this today."

"Oh definately," Soushi smiled.

"Definately," Soujirou replied.

A Shinsengumi person on Soushi's side yelled out, "You guys are done for! Got that?!"

Chou smirked and laughed, "Let's watch _that _happen!"

There was tension in the atmosphere. The feeling of rivalry and scorn for both sides was mutual.

Suddenly, the motocycles started roar to at each other but both did not even flinched as they looked intently into one's eyes...trying to read their opponent's moves.

And onward! Both motocycles raced ahead in full throttle as they sped for their life, honor, and _dignity_...

The first place they drove in after their official declaration of match, was the Nishikikoji Street Market of Kyoto. Soujirou on the right with his gang and Soushi on the right with his gang.

In Nishikikoji, the streets were filled with vendors selling everything from fish to poultry to vegetables and fruits of any kind. The race became more deficult as the roads became narrower and there were more innocent people around.

Soujirou jumped forward and has the lead! Since the road was so narrow, there could only be one who could lead the way.

"Yeah Soujirou!" Chou cried out!

Oh but victory was not theirs yet. Just as Soujirou thought the win would be easy...a sharp, metal, blood thirsty trash can rolled out seven feet in front of Soujirou! But, using his skills learned as a delivery boy for five years, Soujirou did a huge jump on his motocycle, advoiding the dangerous rolling trash can.

Soujirou continued to be in the lead. Chou and Kamatari behind him continuing with Okita and his gang, however, Henya was lagging behind in the way back.

Settings changed as now they were now onward to the Togetsu-kyou Bridge. The roads became wider and Soushi had caught up with Soujirou. They were now neck to neck.

"I have to say, you're impressive!" Soushi cried out as he grinned ahead.

Soujirou took a second to look over and smiled back ahead on the road ahead him. "Thank you!"

But then Soushi's engine roared and he drove faster. He was now in front of Soujirou. "Ah darn it." Soujirou started to speed faster but suddenly to his horror. The bridge started to be pulled apart. The center of the bridge was slowly being pulled up as the construction men were working on it.

Soujirou looked at Soushi but he didn't even flinched. Then suddenly, Soushi drove into the center of the bridge even as it was coming apart but he managed to jump over to the other side.

Unbelievable! Something you would see in the Fast and the Furious 4!

Soujirou smiled, "I can do this..." And he did! He imitated Soushi's action and jumped over the center of the bridge as well.

However some of the others were not as fortunately. One of Soushi's men couldn't jump over the bridge and fell into the Kyoto bay.

"Soooouuuuussshiiiii!" It was slow motion-ed.

Soushi turned around and yelled, "Throw me the food boxes!"

The falling man did as he was told and used all his last strength to throw their precious take out for Soushi to catch. With arms of steel, Soushi caught the food with struggle but he managed to do it sucessfully.

"What the heck?!" Kamatari yelled. Chou was in front of him and they managed to jump over the bridge sucessfully but where the hell was Henya?!

_Oh no..._

Henya was the last person and he didn't even get to the bridge center yet. Kamatari knew that he would not be able to jump over. "Henya! Throw me the food!"

Henya with anxiety, Henya did as he was told. However, as after he threw the box of food in the air, a sneak attack was implicated!

A Shinsengumi enemy had intercepted the Juppon Gatana food. Kamatari looked in horror, "FCK!"

He had no choice but to do this...

"GIVE ME THE FOOD!" Kamatari turned around and stopped right in front of the thief. The man stopped in terror as Kamatari halted his bike in front of him. He threatened the guy as he held a gun in front of his face.

The man looked at him scared out of his shitwits. "_NOW."_

Declaring defeat, the man did as he was told and handled over the boxes to Kamatari.

Laughing, Kamatari pulled the trigger.

"AHH!" The guy screamed but the only thing that hit him was water. -.-' It was a water gun.

Kamatari stopped laughing and put away his gun and continued after Soujirou.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

The final moment was coming... All their blood, sweat, and tears would finally be paid off.

In the far distance, the view of the Oniwabanshuu mansion was coming onto view. Again Soujirou and Soushi was neck to neck. It now everything or nothing.

Their motocycles came into a halt. Chou and Kamatari was there as well and so was the rest of Soushi's gang.

"Hurry Soujirou!" They quickly gave him the food boxes, "Start running!"

Balancing five boxes, Soujirou ran as fast as he could. Then Soushi appeared right next to him!

"You don't know when to quit, don't you?" Soujirou smiled.

"No, that's why I always win!" Soushi laughed.

The two now were moments away from reaching the Oniwabanshuu gate. As they got closer, they saw a little girl standing at the gate, grinning behind a red finishing line. There's not denying it, that _must _be the customer!

Both of their ran even faster now with everything they got.

"A little faster...!" Soushi forced his legs.

"Cooome on!" Soujirou clenched his teeth.

"Go SOUJIROU! SOUJIROU! SOUJIROU!!"

"OKITA! OKITA! OKITA! OKITA!"

They were now seconds away from the girl.

"HALT!" The girl screamed at the top of her lungs as she held out her hand.

Soujirou and Soushi stopped suddenly but hardly able to control their velocity.

Their sneakers screeched against the fraction of the road as they came to a stop.

The girl that stood before them, they could tell right away, that she was of higher class. She wore an expensive, casual shirt with designer shorts. Her hair was blue and long in a braid. The girl smirked as she looked at both of the tired, sweaty boys. "You boys from Juppon Gatana and Shinsengumi takeout?"

They nodded in unison.

She laughed, and looked at her wrist watch, "10.0235 minutes. It took 10.2 minutes for you to do a simple delivery? Maa maa." She shook her head in disappointment. "Unfortunately, the Kenshingumi restaurant had arrived already with their food and left."

Soujirou and Soushi fell to the ground in horror. All the work for nothing... Even though they were young men, Soushi and Soujirou held on each other and cried in shame.

o.O Misao couldn't believe she just made two guys cried because of her. Maybe her little tactics was a little harsh?

"Hey... yo, get up!" Misao yelled, "I'll pay for your services and your food. So...do yourself a favor and don't cry."

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

**Note: **if i see reviews then I'll know that you're all reading so I'll update but if this story's a flop then I think I'll just end it here. Just bored so I really don't have the story out planned. I just felt writing whatever came to my head XD oh yeah and I didn't edit this so there's a lot of mistakes probably...


	2. You've Got Served!

**Note:** Oh yeah, I changed Kashiwazaki to Oniwabanshuu because it fits betta... Like the chapter's title? You've Got Served! Hahahaha, my little pun. I am so funny. Baka, why are you so funny?! I dunno, I was born like that! XD

_**D**_elivery_**B**_oy_**S**_oujirou

('-' ) ... ( '-')

_**C **__h a p t e r __**O**__ n e_: You've Got Served!

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Soujirou and Okita stood up and looked at each other, then at this girl called, Misao.

She was just _playing _with _them_? _Toying _them and using their _honorable, hardworking _delivery services for her own _pleasure_?! A human being in this cruel world cannot be even this malicious!

Misao smiled at both of them, "Oh don't be so glum! I told you I'll pay for it." She turned around and yelled, "Hey Kuro! Get over here quickly!" A huge, fat man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and plaid shorts came out of the mansion.

"Yes Misao-san!" He said as he bowed then stood up straight with respect. It was as she had him on a leash. "Bring these delivery boxes inside for me."

The fat man went over to Soujirou and Okita and grabbed them right away. "But Misao-san? Are we expecting guests? Why so much food?"

Misao shook her head, "No you moron, why would we give fast food to guests? I ordered too much for myself, you can have it all."

The expression from the fat man turned into pure happiness. He jumped with joy as cherry dots popped on his cheeks. "Thank you Misao-san! You are too kind to me!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Misao said as the fat man skipped back into the mansion.

Soujirou and Okita stood in front of Misao, giving her the when-are-you-gonna-pay-me look?

"Before I pay you though! Remember what I said on the phone?" Misao grinned evilly. "The _loser_ must be _punished_." And she emphasized on the word, _punished_.

Soujirou jumped with fear. Who is this girl? Is she some sort of sick serial mass murderer who kills only delivery boys?! Chain saws, machetes, and knives and guns danced around his head as he thought of the worst. What would be his fate? Torture before death or even..._rape_?! But poor Soujirou! He hasn't even had his first kiss yet! His innocence would forever be lost!

"But since it was a tie, I guess its rock, paper, shoot for you both!" Misao announced. Suddenly the whole sky turned dark and the spotlight was shone on Soujirou and Okita. With a blue pikachu microphone, Misao announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, today we have a special match between two very tough, well trained, delivery boys! First we have in this round, the man who representing the Shinsengumi restaurant. Scrawny but can make a mean plate of soba noodles...!" Misao placed the microphone up to Okita.

"Uh...Okita Soushi?" Okita said shyly as he looked around.

"Twinkle Toes Soushi!" Misao. The crowd roar and Okita smiled with embarrassment and bowed in pride.

"And in this other corner of the ring, we have the Juppon Gatana's secret weapon. Also scrawny and smiley as well...We have...!"

"...S-Seta Soujirou," Soujirou said nervously.

"There you have ladies and gents! Happy Humps Soujirou!" Misao announced.

_Happy Humps?! _Soujirou thought_. That's a strange nam---._

"And round one begin!" Misao announced suddenly.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" said both Soujirou and Soushi.

"Twinkles Toes pulled out a paper but OH NO, Happy Humps had pulled out scissors! A first win for Happy Humps but a powerful hit against Twinkle Toes!"

This was his chance, Soujirou thought. If he can beat Soushi in this game of rock, paper, scissors, he could avoid this punishment from the girl Misao.

"Round two!"

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!"

"Happy Humps held out a rock but SHOCKINGLY, Twinkle Toes has made a comeback! Holding out proudly his number one weapon, PAPER! PAPER BEATS ROCK! The score is tied!

A sweat dropped from Okita's cheek while Soujirou loosen the collar of his polo shirt. The game was getting intense within those 15 seconds.

"Round three! Last round!"

"ROCK," everything was slow motion once again, "PAPER," the hair stood up behind Soujirou's neck, "SISSORS." Okita's teeth shook with anxiety, "SHOOOOT!"

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

"Oh man, who'd knew that he'd put out scissors," Soujirou said warily to himself as he scratched his head in defeat.

Chou, Kamatari, and Henya had already left for their next delivery services so it was Soujirou who drove back to the Juppon Gatana restaurant by himself. "Now...how do I explain this to Yumi and the others?"

Then another thought crossed his mind. He had made a deal with Misao Makimachi. Since he was the loser of the rock, paper, scissors battle, he'd promised her that he'd be her slave for a week.

"Meet me at the park tomorrow at 8 a.m. sharp! Got that my _slave boy_!? Mwahahaha!"

Soujirou winced at the sound of Misao's evil laughter. She was some kind of girl...

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

"Oh my God Jesus Christ superstar!" Yumi jumped from her chair. Looking down below from the second story in her office, Yumi saw Soujirou taking off his bike helmet and entering the restaurant.

She quickly ran down the stairs, dying to know the news. Usui, Anji, Saizuchi, Fuji, Iwanbo, and Houji all rushed out as well to await the good or bad news.

Soujirou entered the restaurant with eager faces staring at him. Before he could say anything...

"Did you win?!"

"Did you lose?!"

"Did you get there in time?!"

"Did you get lost?!"

"Did you beat the chicken shit out of Saitou Hajime and puttin' his dirty-bad-tasting-no-good-Japanese-soul-food-wannabe-retarded restaurant?!"

Yumi pushed their fat, eager faces aside, "Did you get the money?!"

Soujirou smiled and gave Yumi the money. As she was counting, Soujirou said, "Well I got the money and a very generous tip but-" However, before he could finish, everyone jumped with joy and screaming, "Oh praise Shishio!"

"It's over ten thousand yen!" Yumi shouted.

"BANZAI!"

Everyone jumped up and down and hugging and crying towards one another. Soujirou couldn't blame them, the restaurant was going downhill, and this delivery service definitely gave everyone spirit and hope for a better future.

Houji opened the champagne bottle and the top burst, "Drinks for everyone! Let's get frickin' drunk tonight!"

"YEAH!"

"WOOHOO!"

"BANZAI!"

"AMEN!"

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

"Aigoo!" Soujirou jumped forward and landed on his bed.

After drinking about five glasses of champagne, he never felt so sleepy in his life. "As long as they've got money... There's no need to tell them anything else."

After five minutes of soundless sleeping, Soujirou suddenly awoke with a sharp pain on his back.

"SOUJIROU! LET'S GO OUT TONIGHT!"

Soujirou deeply sighed. The sound of that voice. It only means one thing.

He turned his head to face Chou who was sitting on top of his back in a Buddhist-monk-meditating style. It seems that he and the rest were now home from their work shifts.

"Why," Soujirou replied with a slur.

Chou grinned and gave out a huge breathe of happy satisfaction. "We going clubbing that's why! I heard you beat Soushi today!" He smacked Soujirou hard on the back, making Soujirou letting out a groan of pain.

"I need a favor from you Souji boy!" Chou stood up and giggled, "You know, _that _kind of favor. Get dressed and be out the door in five!" He walked out and shut the door.

Five seconds later...

The door opened and Chou stood at the hallway. "Soujirou, I really need you! Come on!" The door shut again.

Ten seconds later...

The door opened again and Chou stood there annoyed, "Tonight's urgent! Dude, I need you!"

No reply.

Twenty seconds later...

The door burst opened, and Chou stood there looking very angry, "If you're not going then I'm going to take pictures of you sleeping without clothes on and post them on the internet!" He slammed the door again, then a second later it opened again, "On the GAY NETWORK!"

Soujirou quickly sat up on his bed. "Sstoopu!(Stop)" he shouted in a Japanese accented English.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

"Wow!"

Four guys stood there speechless.

"Is this...really your new girlfriend?!" The four guys stood there wide guys. The one in the middle took off his sunglasses to get a better look. The one on the left leaned in closer towards the girlfriend.

The girl had blonde hair, wearing a pink silk shirt with a really shirt skirt. The girl was Soujirou.

Chou laughed and put his arms around his so called _girlfriend_. Soujirou stood there stiffly. This was already the second time he had to do this _favor _for Chou. He smacked Chou's hand that at his waist. He whispered in Chou's ears, "Do you _really _want to touch a guy in that way? Homo ja nai! Why didn't you get Kamatari to do it."

"YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE KAMATARI! AISHH!" Chou screamed out. Then he ran away into the dancing arena.

"Huh? What's wrong with him?" Chou's buddies looked.

"Relationship problems?" One of them asked Soujirou.

"Uh...well...it's complicated," Soujirou said shyly.

The one on the right shook his head, "There must be another woman in his life, right? Men these days... Don't worry, head strong!"

"Hwaiting! (Fighting)" They shouted as they pushed Soujirou to go after Chou.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Chou sat in the corner of the club drinking a beer as Soujirou came and sat down next to him.

Soujirou sighed and patted Chou on the back, "What's wrong Chou-san? Can't get women to show off to your friends and had to resort to me?"

Chou looked over warily and forced a nod. Soujirou laughed out loud and sat back, "What are you talking about?! You have Kamatari!"

Chou smacked his hands across Soujirou's face, "Don't ever say that name! Or else he'll...!"

"Oh my gosh! Chou!" A girl in a shirt, skimpy dress turned around and walked closer to Chou and Soujirou.

"Oh no..." Chou turned away, avoiding eye contact.

"Chou!" Kamatari gave an annoyed glare at him as he went and sat down next to Chou. "Why are you following me around?! Are you in love with me _that _much?!"

Chou's four friends came over and sat with them as well.

Kamatari looked over at Soujirou, "And who's this?" His face came closer to Soujirou to get a better look, "Omo!! This isn't...Soujirou!" He pulled out Soujirou's blonde wig. Kamatari laughed out loud as Soujirou, embarrassed, tried to put the wig back on before anyone noticed his cross dressing.

"What, you're so in love with me that you make Soujirou pretend to be your girlfriend to make me jealous?" Kamatari glared at Chou.

Chou looked at everyone with wide eyes, "That's not true!" His friends punched him lightly. "Just say it's true."

Chou looked around madly. He was pushed into a corner. "What?! I don't like men!"

The guys rolled their eyes, "You made Soujirou your girlfriend." Soujirou smiled embarrassingly.

"No!" Chou said, "It ain't true!"

"Just admit it!" The four guys cornered him.

"No!"

"Yes!" The guys pressed on.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"YES! YES! YES!" the guys forced on harder.

"No! No! No!"

"YES!!!!!"

"Alright yes!"

Kamatari laughed with amusement, then turning a glaring eye at Chou, "Chou...Chou...Chou...tsk tsk tsk. Love is really flattering but must you really be..." Kamatari leaned close and whispered with his hand covering his mouth, "...a stalker?"

"I'm NOT a STALKER!" Chou defended.

Kamatari laughed out loud, "TAHEHE! Is that so?" Kamatari motioned his hands for everyone to gather towards him closer. While Chou sat in a corner by himself.

"After a week or so of getting my new phone, Chou's last digits turned out to be the same as mine!"

Everyone gasped in amazement.

Chou stood up with anger, "What the hell?! That never happened?! Since when!" He looked bewildered as no one would believe him. "Lies! All lies!"

"Chou just say yes!" his friends yelled at him.

Chou laughed in anger, "Yes, I actually copied his digits!" he said sarcastically.

"So you DID!" his friends yelled in amuck.

Kamatari laughed out to relieve his shock, "Chou, I told you already. I'm totally not into you!"

"And I'm not into you!" Chou yelled. But no one was paying attention to him. They gathered around Kamatari for another of those stories.

"And today at work too. Chou kept waiting for me in front of the women's bathroom.!" Kamatari explained.

Everyone gasped again.

"That's not true!" Chou defended himself.

"Just say yes so we can move on Chou!" his friends yelled.

"Y-yes...? No? No! I'm not saying yes!" Chou yelled. Still, no believers. "Alright fine! I was waiting outside but not for you. It was because the men's bathroom was filled so I was waiting outside."

Kamatari looked at him, "Really? If you're not in love with me than why did you call me yesterday on my personal phone?"

"I don't know your personal phone number!" Chou yelled. He closed his eyes and then opened them. In a serious tone. "Kamatari. I like women, not men. I go for girls with bodies like Yumi, not yours!"

"Hmm...Yumi often mentions about you..." Kamatari said while scratching his chin.

"R-really?" Chou asked curiously.

"Yes, she often mentions how much you like me." Kamatari said.

Chou fell to the group hopelessly.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

It was six am and Soujirou had already left the restaurant do to his morning delivery services.

"Oh yeah... I forgot. I have to meet Makimachi-san at 8 am. But...how could I ask Yumi to let me have the day off...?" Soujirou thought. "And I have to be her slave for a week..." Soujirou groaned hopelessly. He wasn't really looking forward to it. "Let's see... What if I told Yumi have a family member in the hospital today? Would she let me off?" Soujirou shook his head, "No, she'll know I'm lying."

As he thought of ways to get a day off for his other 'part time job' with Misao, he stopped at his first delivery place in the morning. However, with deep thoughts already preoccupied in his mind already, Soujirou didn't realize he was walking into a place where he was forbidden.

"Juppon Gatana delivery!" Soujirou yelled out normally as he unpacked the ordered food and placed it on the table.

However, he didn't notice the nude women around him. Some were in towels. After all, it _was _a women's bath house. The women stared at him stunned and shocked. Soujirou didn't notice until...

"Who ordered the bean sprouts noodles?" Soujirou asked.

"Hey! Who are you?! What are you doing here?!" The angry women yelled. Everyone suddenly got up and started running wildly and amuck. Offended that a boy was in their changing rooms, they started throwing towels at Soujirou.

"How can you come in?! Get out quickly!"

Soujirou covered himself for safety as towels and buckets were being thrown from every angle at him. "S-sorry!"

"Hey! I'm telling you to get out! Are you deaf?!"

"GET OUT PERVERT!"

Soujirou was trying to get out but he couldn't see where the exit was for all the chaos in the room. Then a huge fat sumo...er was it as lady? Soujirou couldn't tell. But this huge creature of a woman came closer towards him and picked him up. The next second, before he knew it, he was thrown out and landed on the concrete sidewalk outside of Kyoto.

The women in the bath house changing room turned towards each other in disbelief, "How can there be such a guy?"

However, Soujirou walked right back in, "Excuse me but... Can you pay me for the food?"

"HEY!"

"GET OUT IMMEDIATELY!"

More towels and buckets were thrown.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Soujirou tried to fix his messed up hair. It was all thanks to the bath house women that he came out looking like a crazy homeless guy.

It was his second stop in the morning. This time at some mansion. The gates opened and Soujrou made his way inside.

"Excuse me? The meal delivery is here?" Soujirou said as he opened the door slightly.

"Just put it on the table!" He heard a voice.

"Yes." Soujirou replied.

"What are you doing? Come in quickly!" It was a voice of a man.

"Of course!" Soujirou replied as he rushed in. He started to unpack the food but stopped when he saw the person on the couch. He stared wide eyes. It was a man reading the newspaper but...was only in a towel.

"Hey!"

Soujirou was startled and continue to unpack.

"Is that cold noodles?" the guy asked.

"Y-yes."

The guy had brown spiky hair, wet hair. He was probably in the showers or something.

However Soujirou didn't expect that he would come over it.

"Hey, what's your name?" The man said.

"Souji-" Soujirou stopped and jumped back. How the hell did he just appeared behind him?

"Hey, you're a cute girl---"

"I'm not a gi---"

"What's your phone number?"

The blood in Soujirou's body stopped all circulation. He quickly ran out the door before something else could happen.

The spiky haired guy scratched his head, "Left without the money..."

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Soujirou stood with his back against the gates as he breathed heavily from shock. "I'm a boy!!! Why must I get mistaken as a girl all the time?!"

Then flashbacks of the bath house to this guy. Soujirou shuddered, "All day! All day, starting from the morning, both women and men nude! All nude! NAKED! ARGH!"

Suddenly a sign caught his eyes.

Lost of gender identity? Call Dr. Gensai!

Soujirou fell to the ground in disbelief.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Note: Yeah I know, aigoo is a korean thing not Japanese but I didn't know what else to put so shut up. Hwaiting is also korean... Lol, after watching so many Korean dramas, I'm hooked on that catch phrase! If you've watched Hana Kimi the live action drama, then you'll know what Homo ja nai is. Basically it means, "I am not gay." Other dramas I took from and used in today's chapter: DBSK banjun drama, 100 days with mr. arrogant, xman (korean game show) number 57 with lee sung jin vs bada, and The 1st Shop of Coffee Prince.


	3. My Bitch Yo!

**Note:** chillin like a villain, it's all good in da hood, give hugs not drugs, make love not war

_**D**_elivery _**B**_oy _**S**_oujirou

('-' ) ... ( '-')

_**C **__h a p t e r __**T**__ h r e e_: My Bitch Yo

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Soujirou looked at the time as he walked to the Juppon Gatana Restaurant. It was 7:50. He had ten minutes to get his butt to Maruyama Park or risk having Misao hunt him down, cut out his heart, and then possibly eating it as well. But how would he go about asking Yumi for the day off? He definitely did not want to tell the real reason but he couldn't think of a fool proof excuse either. His life was dedicated to delivery so it would out of the blue to ask for a day off to go anywhere. As for fun? Soujirou had never gone out to anywhere fun on his own free will. Then his solution to his dilemma came…

He was just about to enter the restaurant when out comes an excited Yumi.

"Oh Soujirou! The restaurant is going to be closed today! I can't run the place because I have to run to the Kenshin-Mart. There's a huge sale on toilet paper, you know, the soft fluffy kind so I have to hurry over there before it runs out!"

He watched as Yumi sped off, running like a mother like no other. Except, she's not really a mother…

"Great. That solves my problem," Soujirou sighed, "But it's not like I'm gonna enjoy this."

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Standing with his hands in his pocket, it was already 9 a.m. at Maruyama Park and still no sign of Misao.

But patient as he was, he still waited.

…another hour passed and it was now 10 a.m.

He thought that she was probably joking with him and so he started to walk home. Even though he waited for nothing, it was a relief that he wasn't going to see her again.

As he was walking down the streets of Kyoto, Soujirou thought about how to spend the rest of the day but then he accidentally bumped into something.

"Gomen na—" he said but the person quickly walked away. Strange. He looked down and on the ground was a red purse. He quickly picked it up, knowing that it was the person he bumped into.

"Miss!" He yelled after.

The figure was a girl in a polka dotted dress, wearing a big, white sun hat. As she turned around, Soujirou squinted and quickly saw that it was…Misao Makimachi!

She grinned at him with a bit of an evil presence in her expression. Then suddenly, "THIEF!!!!" she cried out loud.

Soujirou blinked, _thief? Where?_

Suddenly a cop went running towards him with a stick. He was the thief! What to do? Scared, Soujirou ran away.

He ran as fast as he could, fearing for his life if this cop got a hold of him.

As he ran past houses and shops, he looked for an escape route. Everytime he looked behind him, the cop was still on his tail.

"Here, take it!! I don't even want it!" He threw the purse in the air. Unfortunately, it hit the cop in the head and collapsed to the ground.

Shit.

Not only did he "stole" a purse but he probably killed a cop as well.

On the next corner, he turned and ran into an alley way. There was a pile of trash bags and trash cans. Without a thought, he jumped into a trash can and pulled the lid over.

Was the coast clear? It was five minutes that he sat in the pile of stink. The stinky odor of some special surprise was in the trash can did not scare him as much as getting caught with the law.

Looking to see if the coast was clear, he slowly removed the lid and looked outside. To his utter and unfortunate surprise, there stood Misao, with her smiling face up close and personal towards his.

"M-misao-san!" Soujirou hastily stood up out of shock but unfortunately fell, due to his unstable stance. He crashed to the ground, along with the trash can.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

"Oww…" He rubbed his head from the injury a moment ago. Now he was sitting in a restaurant with Misao sitting across from him.

"Well that's your fault for not waiting for me at Maruyama. I came there and mercifully waited for a whole five minutes." Misao said as she sipped on mango juice.

"I did come, Makimachi-san," Soujirou replied,"I came exactly at 8:00 and waited until 10:00. You never showed up."

"Well what do you expect? It's a Saturday and I like to sleep in."

"But you said to be there at ei—"

"I have to go shopping for bras today." Misao said abruptly.

"Eh?!" Soujirou was surprised at her words.

"As of today, you're my slave for a hundred days. When I shop, you carry my bags. When I wanna go somewhere, you drive me around. And when someone insults me, you punch their lights out. Got that?" Misao said nonchalantly as she continued to sip on her mango juice.

"Well… I'm not sure—"

"Well start being sure. Because as of today…" Misao said in English, "You're my bitch yo." After giving him a demanding look, she went back to that angelic, sweet smile of hers.

Soujirou slumped back in his chair. He might as well dig his grave now.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

"Good afternoon minna-san! How can I help you today? We have a big sale on all of our bras for only today! Fifty percent off!"

"Bah! Who cares about sales," Misao rolled her eyes, "What is the biggest size you got here?"

The worker girl, wearing a black and white maid uniform, smiled and replied, "The biggest size we have is E90."

Misao grinned and clapped her hands, "Alright then! Get me every single E90 bras for me to try out."

The worker girl smiled with a sweat drop, "Miss I don't think that's the right—"

"No more small talks and go get me them," replied Misao.

And without further small talks, the worker girl hopped to her duties. Misao looked over at Soujirou, giving him a weird look, "Well go help her by bringing all of it over to me!"

Soujirou sighed and did as he was told. This was his first time a lingerie shop and it was as he expected. Awkward….and uncomfortable.

Misao walked by looking at some naughty panties. Using her pinkie, she lifted up a very stringy thong as she eyeballed it. "What the hell's this? God this must be uncomfortable."

Then Soujirou came back with boxes of E90 sized bras in his hands.

"Misao, here are the bras," said Soujirou as he struggled to hold everything.

"Yeah yeah, fine bring—" Misao stopped short as her eyes were reverted somewhere else.

In just a few seconds, a guy and girl walked over.

"Miroku-kun, what do you think of this?" a girl in a ponytail, wearing a red shirt and capris approached Soujirou and Misao.

The one named Miroku was a guy in his teens, wearing a dark navy blue shirt with jeans and had a small ponytail in his hair.

"Oh Sango-chan, I think you should definitely get this one," Miroku replied as he held up a very naughty lingerie outfit with see through laces.

"Miroku!" yelled Sango angrily.

Misao glared at the couple and walked over to Soujirou. "Come on Soujirou, I hate this store." She grabbed his arm and pulled him quickly to the doorway.

However, just before she could leave…

"Makimachi Misao? Is that you?" Miroku called from behind.

Shit. Misao did not want to see this face at all. She forced a happy grin and turned around.

"Makimachi Misao is the name. And who might you be?" replied Misao in her most angelic voice.

The guy named Miroku chuckled, "Why it's me, Miroku from school. Don't you remember our days?" He smiled. Then he looked over at the girl named Sango and said, "Makimachi here is such a cute girl. In school she wanted a boyfriend so much that she followed me everywhere I went. I thought that it was so cute that she thought I was the best guy to have. Oh Misao… did you ever accomplish that goal of finding true love?"

Misao dropped her smile. She felt like smacking this bitch to the other end of Okinawa but stopped herself.

"Oh yeaaah. Now how can I forget a face like yours." She looked over at the innocent little sap of a girl named Sango. "But I think you have it all wrong. You were following me instead. _I, however, _was trying to run away. You see, I don't mess with guys who sleep with anything that breathes. Do yourself a favor, Sango-chan, he's only in it to get your virginity then you're just another one of his playthings."

Then Misao suddenly grabbed onto Soujirou arms, "And yes I have found my true love. His name is Soujirou, say hi Soujirou."

Soujirou was confused, "Hi?"

"Now Soujirou and I are leaving now so you two can go buy your naughty play clothes and get your freak out," said Misao.

And the two left hand in hand as Sango punched Miroku in the face.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

"What was that all about?" Soujirou said as he sat down across from Misao. They were now sitting outside of a restaurant.

"Nothing just some dumbass," Misao said as she sipped another one of those Mango juices.

"From school?" Soujirou replied, oblivious to the fact that he was being a bit nosy.

"I don't go to school anymore. I'm home schooled," replied Misao.

"What reasons did you stopped public school for?"

"It was private school. And it's none of your business," Misao snapped.

Soujirou reframed. "Gomen nasai. I thought I'd get you know you better…as a friend…"

Misao looked up from her drink. Soujirou looked a bit hurt and she felt a bit guilty.

"This is why I don't have friends," spoke Misao. Her voice was now small and even gentle a bit. "I don't want to have friends."

Soujirou was surprised at her sudden comment, "Why…is that?"

"Because in reality. No one wants to be anyone's friends. Everyone just wants something out of others and the word friend is just a cover up," Misao looked up at Soujirou with a smile, "and that's why I don't want friends. I just don't want to be used by others because I have money." Then she went back to sipping her mango juice.

Soujirou was as bit shocked at her words. He watched Misao as she drank her juice without a care in the world. Misao may be a rude, sassy, ill-mannered girl but now he knew the reason.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

It was nighttime by the time Misao and Soujirou walked back home. Well, first he had to walk Misao home first and carried all of her shopping bags.

It was 10 pm by the time they reached the Okinawa Mansion. Once they reached the gates, Misao turned around and faced Soujirou.

"You can leave the bags here, the maids will bring it in," said Misao. She waved her hand, "You can go now."

Soujirou dropped the bags to the ground with relief.

He smiled, "Good night Makimachi-san."

Misao gave an 'I don't care' look at him. She reached into her pockets and pulled out 50,000 yen and pushed it into Soujirou's stomach. "Here you go, your pay." Before he could say anything, she started to walk away.

"Um..!" said Soujirou. Misao stopped and turned around, "What now? You want more?"

But then he did something that Misao did not anticipate. He gently pushed the money back into Misao stomach.

Soujirou smiled, "Hanging out with a friend does not cost anything Makimachi-san." Then he turned and skipped home, "Good night!" He waved then ran home.

Misao stood there speechlessly at the gates with 50,000 in her hands. She was a bit stunned for a moment. It was something she had never seen in her life. That was the first time she saw someone denying money out of their own free will.

She watched as Soujirou disappeared in the dark. Then a real, genuine smile appeared on her face.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')


	4. Explosion Berries

Note: ai zhuan jiao yu jian liao shui shi fou bu rang ni liu lei 

_**D**_elivery_** B**_oy _**S**_oujirou

('-' ) ... ( '-')

**C**_h_ _a p t e r _**O** _n e_: **The Ultimate DELIVERY Challenge!**

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

JUPPON GATANA FOOD NIHONGO ON THE GO GO! JUPPON GATANA FOOD NIHONGO ON THE-------

Soujirou rolled over on his futan and looked at his cell phone text.

MEET ME KARASUMA LINE NOW! DON'T BE LATE.

Soujirou groaned as he rolled back into his bedsheets. It was after all, 7 a.m. on a Saturday.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

The Karasuma line is part of the Kyoto Underground Metro Subway. Being top notch in transportation, a crowd of people were there on that Saturday as Soujirou observed. As usual it always ended up with him waiting for Misao who was late as usual. Since she was the one that texted him to come at 7; then why is she late?

Alright, that's it. Soujirou had decided. He will tell Misao today that he will not be coming to anymore of these slave labors. He shuddered at the thought of the consequences. After all, she is a veryrich girl from a very rich and powerfulfamily. The possibilities are endless! They could send the yakuza after him. They could hire a hit man. Or hell, they could come and take away the Juppon Gatana restaurant and take the whole gang and him as prisoners in their underground torture chamber! Oh what would Yumi-san say: SOUJIROU YOU STUPID BRAT I'M GONNA KILL YOU AND THEN I'LL----

You get the idea. ...just really really really bad stuff might happen. But hey, he wans't sure if he could deal with doing this everyday. Maybe, and just maybe, she'll take it easy and say: Of course Soujirou! I will leave you alone forever!!!

Soujirou sighed. He could only wish. He looked at his watch, it was now getting near 9 a.m. Looking up at his watch, he suddenly saw Misao. Standing in the distance by herself in the middle of the crowd.

He was just about to call for her when he stopped as he noticed something abnormal. Misao wans't her loud, obnoxious self. Soujirou watched as she stood so lonely and miserable in the crowd. For a moment, he saw a side of her she never let him saw before. He felt a bit sympathy for a moment.

He walked up to her, thinking how he was going respond to this situation. Misao? Are you alright? What's wrong?

"Misao, are you alrig----" but stopped short.

"You're late again!" Misao kicked him in the shin. No, the real Misao was still there, Soujirou thought as he hopped in pain.

"But I came here since---"

"Do you have a coin?" Misao asked.

Soujirou scratched his head, "Yes... why?"

"Well! Get it out." Misao said impatiently.

Did as he was told, Soujirou took out 10 yen. Misao gave her instructions with haste, "How today ends up is simple. Heads, we go on the subway. Tails, you can go home today." Soujirou's eyes widen and gleamed with hope. "But ONLY for today!" Misao added in.

"Deal!" Soujirou said anxiously. He knew at that instant, inside of him, every single part of his body, even the stomach bacteria, were all screaming: TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS TAILS!!!!!

Misao took the 10 yen from Soujirou's hand. "Let's see then..." She flipped the coin with her thumb. They both watched as the coin flew high into the air. The moment straight forever for Soujirou. What will it be...?

The coin landed right in the middle, between Misao and Soujirou. Their heads bent down forward to see the result.

"Heads." Misao said plainly.

Soujirou sighed, Just My Luck.

Misao glared at him, "WHAT'S THAT SIGH FOR?! You DON'T like hanging around ME?!"

Soujirou anxiously waved his arms in surrender. "NO no no...it's just early in the morning, that's all. I'm tired!" He lied nervously.

Misao looked up at him with unconvincing, cold eyes which made Soujirou more nervous. To alleviate her, Soujirou placed one of his arm around her as he led her through the subway door. "We'll have a fun fun fun day! Oh I can't wait!" Misao blushed a bit at the sudden gesture and forgot about her anger. Once they were inside, Soujirou let go without a care. Misao looked a bit disappointed but forcefully ignored the feeling.

She took the 10 yen out again, "This is fun! Let's do it again!"

"Huh?" Soujirou looked over at her. "You mean I have a second chance to go home today?" He asked a bit too eagerly. Misao kicked him in the shin, "NO. I mean, let's flip the coin again. If it's heads we continue to stay on the train. If it's tails, we leave this subway and wait for the next."

"How is that suppose to be fun?" Soujirou asked after recovering from the second attack. It was then that he saw Misao sincerely smile at him, "Because life is more fun when things are unexpected."

So the game began as they both took turns flipping the coins. It was a series of heads after heads so they both stayed on the subway. Where they destined to continue traveling further?

As Misao sat besides Soujirou in the subway, he watched as an elderly man walked across. She could tell that he was very old, probably in his 90's. As this old man walked, he looked desperately for a seat but it was so crowded that he was forced to stand and hold onto the subway ceiling handle. To Soujirou's surprise, Misao suddenly stood up. He watched as she walked quickly over to some punk teenager guy with a mohawk.

"HEY!" Misao screamed at mohawk guy. "GET UP!" Now everyone was now looking at her. Soujirou shrink back into his seat with embarrassment.

He took off his loud headphones and glared at Misao.

"Offer your seat to the elder!" Misao shouted. It looked as if her eyes were going to pop out of her sockets. Soujirou saw her evil glare and was instantly frighten.

The mohawk guy looked at her for a second then chuckle at her and looked away. Misao raised her hand and smacked him on his head. "Ugh!" the guy groaned in pain. He looked up at her with shock but Misao's wide eyed glare did not leave for even a second. "Go!" she barked. Soujirou winced at that moment. The guy looked around in disbelief at what she did. In the end he surrendered and stood up and walked away. The elderly man, who had stood in front of them now was seated at the mohawk guy's spot.

"Hey!" Misao barked again. The mohawk guy turned around.

"Fix your hair," Misao pointed her finger at his mohawk. He frowned and turned around. DING DING DING! Fifty points for Misao.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

In the fifth try, Misao flipped tails. "Finally we get off! My butt is frickin' numb."

"We've been on her for a long time. I think we might have left Kyoto..." said Soujirou.

"Nonsense!" Misao hollered.

Once they stepped out of the underground subway, Soujirou definitely knew it was not Kyoto at all...

The surrounding was all new to them. It no longer a metropolis setting anymore but rather something more naturalistic. Thousands and thousands and miles of trees stood as the woods stretches up to the mountains before them.

"Hey look, smoke!" Soujirou pointed up at the peak of the tallest mountain.

Misao grinned, "That must mean that someone lives there!"

Soujirou smiled, "Wow I can't imagine living in the mountains. Must be very cold... Hey, where are you going?"

Misao started walking toward the mountains, "I'm going to see who lives there! Duh!"

"What the...?" Soujirou ran after her, "Misao, it's probably three hundred miles until the top! It might take days of walking until we reach the top! And this isn't a tourist attraction like Mt. Fuji! There might be while animals and there won't be anyone to help us!"

"Ah hush! You talk too much for a small Asian kid." Misao said as she continued hiking.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

**Three hours later...**

Misao and Soujirou was still walking up the mountain. It was now noon and the only thing Soujirou had been seeing the whole time were trees...and more trees...and maybe a bunny from time to time.

"Water." Misao demanded.

Soujirou instantly pulled her water bottle of her bag. How did he ended up carrying her luggage anyways? And why was he suddenly her water boy? Oh yeah, he's still her slave for 99 more days. Sad thing is that he was getting good at it. Whenever she hollered for something, he instantly knew where it was and pulled it out for her right away. It was as if she programmed his brain to only work for her.

As Misao stopped and drank her water, Soujirou stopped as well.

"Ah! Refreshing!" Misao shoved the water bottle into Soujirou's stomach and continue to walk.

Soujirou was getting thirsty as well so he held up the bottle to drink as well. But of course, the bottle was empty. Just his luck.

**Two hours later...**

"I'm tired... Let's stop and go back," Misao whined as she collapsed to the ground.

He was startled at her sudden willing to give up. It was now two o'clock. They had been walking for five hours!!!!

"We walked for five hours! I don't want to waste it," Soujirou said.

"Well I'm tired," Misao said.

"I'm tired too but I'm not going to give up after all that walking." Give up? Hell no. He was going to finish this.

"Well I'm not walking anymore," Misao said stubbornly.

Soujirou gave a large sigh. He had forgot fora moment that he was dealing with a stubborn donkey.

He walked over to her and crouched down with his back to her.

"What are you doing?" asked Misao.

"I'm giving you a free piggyback ride," Soujirou said. Misao was surprised at his action. She expected him to get angry with her and leave. Everyone in her life had done it to her many times already. So if Soujirou were to scream at her right then and there and walk away, Misao would have be nonchalant about it. After all, it was something she was used to.

"Well what are you waiting for? Get on!" said Soujirou.

Misao grinned and jumped eagerly forward and hugged onto his neck. "Weeeee!"

"ARGH!" Soujirou fell face forward into the ground.

Fives minutes later...

"Hey I'm thinking about making a movie," said Misao.

"What kind of movie?" asked Soujirou as he carried her on his back.

"Don't know, but I'm a big fan of action. OH I KNOW! A Woman is brought into the future but it turns out that she is the only human left and the rest are all evil robots! So in order to survive she learns to use explosives, knives, and guns and shoot and blow up everything!" Misao giggled evilly.

Soujirou rolled his eyes, "Sounds...nice. OR you can do a sad, romantic movies. Japanese people love sad movies all because of Shower."

"Shower? What's so sad about that movie?" Misao asked.

Soujirou was shocked, "What isn't sad about it? It's sad when she asked to be buried in the clothes reminiscent of her love. I have to admit, I cried watching that!"

"The ending sucks," Misao said bluntly.

Soujirou couldn't believe it. Even Shower couldn't move a girl like her. "Alright when they how would you end it?"

Misao smiled as she imagined her version of the movie...

_Misao and Soujirou are now the lead characters. Both are sitting at the pound with Misao in her school uniform and Soujirou as a poor, lonely soul that wears old, ripped up clothes. They feed each other rice balls and throw crumbs into the pond. Then they stand up and start skipping down the road, holding hands. Then suddenly rain pours on them! They look at each other! Oh no! They run into a small hut and sit together and wait as the rain stops, giggling with each other._

FAST FORWARD

_Soujirou is sitting with his parents in their old, straw house as his parents discussed the death of Misao. "Such a pity, their family line is broken up now," said the father. "Oh my..." said the mother._

_"But you know, she must have been an extraordinary girl." said the father. "Why is that?" asked the mother._

_"This was her last request. When I die, please bury me with my love. To bury him alive even!" said the father._

_Soujirou's eyes almost popped out of his sockets. Suddenly, a bunch of Shinto monks burst into the door and grabs Soujirou. "NOOOO!" Soujirou screams as they drag him out the door, leaving his parents confused._

FAST FORWARD

_At the funeral, the monks placed Misao's coffin into the ground and other people are crying as they watched. The monks are now coming the funeral and carrying Soujirou on their backs as he screams for his life. "NO WAY! THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS WRONG!" Soujirou shouts. He screams so more as they throw him into the ground hole containing the coffin. He stands up and tries to get out, "THIS IS WRONG! THIS IS WR---" but is then knocked out with a shovel hitting his head by one of the monks. Then they start to bury the two._

Misao's looked forward with a sincere melancholy expression, "How romantic... Isn't that sad?"

Soujirou was at a lost for word...

**One hours later...**

Misao's stomach groaned, "I'm soooooo HUNGRY!"

Soujirou was too but there wans't any to eat. It was unfortunate that they had forgotten to pack food but both of them probably didn't know they were going to travel to the other end of the world...

Something in the forest caught Misao's attention. On the side of the path they were taking were some blue berries. Misao looked hungrily at them as they were so shiny...and delicious. They were twinkling at her...they wanted her to eat them...

"Ooooo...berries!" Misao pointed at them to tell Soujirou.

Soujirou looked at them but didn't get the same reaction as Misao. "I wouldn't eat them... They might be poisonous."

"Nonsense! Poisonous berries aren't blue! They're poisoned colored!" Misao shouted.

Poisoned colored? What kind of color would that be? Soujirou thought. Misao then jumped down and ran to the bushes of blue berries. She ate them greedily as Soujirou took a break and sat down by a large rock.

**Thirty minutes later...**

"Those berries were awesome! You should have eaten some Soujirou."

"I'll wait until we get to the top. There might be some noodle shops."

"Baka!"

**Thirty minutes later...**

"Sushi or soba?" Soujirou asked Misao as she continued to ride on his back. After eating those berries, Misao decided to play a game.

"Sushi," Misao replied, "Pikachu or charzard?"

"Pikachu," replied Soujirou, "Soccer or baseball?"

"Soccer. Ayumi Hamasaki or Utada Hikaru?"

"Ayumi Hamasaki. Strength or Intelligence?"

"Wait a minute,Ayumi?" asked Misao. "Definitely Hikaru. She has more talent!"

Soujirou laughed, "No one can beat her album, Rainbow."

"Hikaru's Deep River beats Rainbow baka!" said Misao.

"She's doesn't have as much albums out as Ayu Misao," replied Soujirou.

"Oh please, who cares about the number of albums. Ayu's old, Utada's now the new Ayu. And she sang the theme song for---" Misao stopped suddenly. There was a moan and groan in her stomach. Misao she touched her stomach but then felt a sharp pain. "Ow!"

Soujirou wondered what was going on.. "Uh.. Misao? You were saying?"

But Misao wans't listening. Her stomaching was aching like hell. Then suddenly she felt something else... Something worst. Much worst. Good thing was that the pain went away. Bad thing was she now felt constipation.

"Misao?" Soujirou asked.

"AHHH!" Misao screamed. "WHAT?!" started Soujirou.

"TOILET!!!" Misao screamed.

"TOILET?!" Soujirou screamed.

"I HAVE TO TAKE A DUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!" Misao shouted. She felt as if she couldn't hold it any longer.

"A DUMP!?!" Soujirou was now scared shit. Literally. He was SCARED of SHIT. Dammit why did he asked to give her a piggyback ride! He instantly let go of Misao but unfortunately she hanged on. Her legs wrapped around him like a spider. She pulled on his hair in frustration.

"Go find me the restrooms!" Misao yelled.

"There are no rest rooms! We're in the forest!" Soujirou yelled as he freaked out, jumping about.

"FIND ME ONE!!! NOOOOOW!" Misao pulled Soujirou's hair out as she screamed.

Suddenly someone from the forest trees ran out. It was a girl with long, dark blue hair tied in a ponytail. She ran up to them quickly as possible and without any word of introduction, she grabbed Soujirou's hand, "Come with me!"

Before Soujirou can say anything, he ran with her.

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')

Misao collapsed to the tatami floor and gave a breath of relief, "Boy that was close."

Soujirou, who sat beside her, replied, "I've never been more scared in my life." He wiped a sweat drop off his forehead.

The girl earlier who had came to rescue them was a dweller of this forest in the mountains. She quickly brought them into her home and threw Misao into the bathroom and shut the door. Soujirou and Misao couldn't helped but thank her for her deed.

Now sitting across from Soujirou and Misao, the girl sipped tea as she laughed, "When I heard those screams, I immediately knew what was going on."

Soujirou forgot that they had not introduced themselves yet. "I'm Seta Soujirou and this is Makimachi Misao. I'm very thankful for what you did." He bowed to show respect.

"It was nothing. I do it all the time. My name's Kamiya Kaoru," the girl replied.

Misao sat up, "Wait a minute. What do you mean? You do things like this all the time? Saving people from constipation?" Misao raised an eyebrow. That was quite an occupation.

Kaoru frowned, "It's not like I have a choice. You idiots always come to the mountains and eat those explosion berries and get diarrhea and cry for help."

A vein popped on Misao's head, idiot???

"I have to show them to a facility or else there will be crap all over my mountain," said Kaoru.

"Why do you call them explosion berries?" asked Soujirou.

"Because you explode with constipation after eating them!" said Kaoru.

Soujirou turned to Misao, "You shouldn't have eaten those Misao."

"I...couldn't help it... I was so hungry!"

Suddenly Soujirou's stomached moaned. He smiled sheepishly and blushed, "Yea I starved myself instead of eating those berries."

Kaoru laughed, "I was just about to make dinner! Stay and eat!"

"Can I eat too?" Misao asked?

('-' ) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ( '-')


End file.
